🤦🏽‍♀️ Insufferable Bully Demands Friends

Team Trump are now begging the allies they’ve bullied to ‘die for him in the Strait of Hormuz,’ as Trump's PAC fundraises off of dead troops. Plus, Javier Bardem says 'Free Palestine' at the Oscars.

On this day in 1882, the US Senate ratified the Geneva Convention of 1864, legitimizing the International Red Cross and the American Red Cross. The current administration can be succinctly defined as proudly anti-the-Geneva-Conventions.

Good morning! Swin here. The Oscars aired last night. I’ll admit I didn’t watch all of it, but host Conan O’Brien had this to say: “Welcome back, we’re coming to you live from the ‘Has a Small Penis Theatre.’ Let’s see [Donald Trump] put his name in front of that!” Around 10pm ET Sunday, I emailed the White House for comment, given how much Trump and his senior staff like to respond to such celebrity ongoings, or to jabs at his manhood. I’ll let you know if or when I hear back. 🙂

In today’s ‘First Draft,’ Trump would really, really like some other countries’ assistance in fixing the global crisis he started, the US president’s economic adviser thinks you’ll believe ANYTHING, and Javier Bardem uses his moment at the Oscars to say, “Free Palestine.”

Where Did All Our Friends Go?

Trump on March 13, 2026, at Joint Base Andrews, Maryland. Photo by Nathan Howard/Getty Images.

Over the weekend, Donald Trump and top US officials spent much of their time begging American allies (and also Trump’s good pal Xi in China) to bail him out of the economic fiasco he created with his illegal war.

The amount of begging was jarring and unbecoming, even for them.

Since the start of the US-Israeli war late last month, the Iranian government has been firing on tankers in the Strait of Hormuz, and reportedly laying mines, shutting down the narrow and crucial waterway. As a result, an oil, gas, and fertilizer crisis is rapidly unfolding.

This was all entirely predictable. President Trump was warned in advance that Iran would likely respond this way. He went ahead with his war. Trump’s escalations haven’t led Iran to back down, so he and his team have decided to plead with other countries to help the US clear the strait.

Trump claimed Saturday that “many countries” would be sending “War Ships” to reopen the Strait, before adding with less certainty: “Hopefully China, France, Japan, South Korea, the UK, and others, that are affected by this artificial constraint, will send Ships to the area.”

On Sunday, Trump’s energy secretary, Chris Wright, went on ‘Meet the Press’ to feign solidarity with all nations – and to implore China to fix everything. “We care first about Americans, but Americans live in a globalized world, so we care about all the nations,” he said, adding, “I do expect China will be a constructive partner in reopening the Strait of Hormuz.”

Trump’s UN ambassador Mike Waltz told CNN on Sunday the president and his lieutenants “welcome, encourage, and even demand [other nations’] participation to help their own economies.”

Like any common schoolyard bully, Trump is now vacillating between self-pitying and threatening to take his ball and go home.