First Draft: 🙋‍♀️ Melania, Out of the Blue, Denies Ties to Epstein

The first lady’s bizarre statement about Jeffrey Epstein has Trumpland asking a lot of questions about why her and why now. Plus: the DNC still isn't ready to criticize AIPAC.

On this day in 1919, Mexican revolutionary Emiliano Zapata was shot dead by government forces. Decades later, Zapata’s image was used by the United Farm Workers, a US group jointly led by Dolores Huerta, the great campaigner who turns 96 today.

Good morning! Andrew and Swin here. Our president continues to be racist, ICE keeps shooting people, and the war in Iran could restart at any moment. But this morning, our lede is about Melania Trump and Jeffrey Epstein. Don’t blame us. It was her idea.

In today’s ‘First Draft,’ the first lady volunteers that she “was never involved” in Epstein’s crimes, Democrats can’t pass a symbolic resolution calling out AIPAC, and Donald Trump doesn’t seem happy with his ceasefire deal, even after he decided Israel could keep massacring people in Lebanon.

‘What the Fuck Is She Doing?’

Donald Trump and his future wife, Melania Knauss, pose with Jeffrey Epstein and Ghislaine Maxwell at Mar-a-Lago on Feb. 12, 2000. Photo by Davidoff Studios/Getty Images

Polls show a majority of Americans believe that Donald Trump launched his illegal and reckless war in Iran to distract from his Jeffrey Epstein scandal.

But on Thursday, first lady Melania Trump made the bizarre decision to hold a surprise press event, so she could draw attention away from the worst-run war in US history and bring the president’s ties to the world’s most famous pedophile right back into the national news cycle.

“I’m not a witness or a named witness in connection with any of Epstein’s crimes,” Melania Trump declared. “My name has never appeared in court documents, depositions, victim statements, or FBI interviews surrounding the Epstein matter. I have never had any knowledge of Epstein’s abuse of his victims. I was never involved in any capacity.”

She continued: “I was not a participant, was never on Epstein’s plane, and never visited his private island. I have never been legally accused or convinced [sic] of a crime in connection with Epstein’s sex trafficking, abuse of minors, and other repulsive behavior.”

Melania Trump’s comments reminded Swin of this clip of Frank from ‘It’s Always Sunny in Philadelphia.’ It reminded Andrew just slightly more of this classic meme.

“What the fuck is she doing right now?” one close Trump adviser asked us shortly after Melania Trump stopped speaking.

“I’ve never been friends with Epstein,” Melania Trump said. “Donald and I were invited to the same parties as Epstein from time to time, since overlapping in social circles is common in New York City and Palm Beach. To be clear, I never had a relationship with Epstein or his accomplice, [Ghislaine] Maxwell.”

This was a televised performance that no one was asking for, and which few could immediately explain.